Life can be spent in comfort and routine, with moderate means, and the least risks.

It can also be spent exploring the road not taken.

My instincts always seem to lead me the safe route for the most part. But when I do take that leap it seems to be in the less than best spots in life. Like risking making a move for something I want, when prudence would say wait till the situation is better.

I try to fight that sometimes, especially when it comes to taking a safe risk and just trying for something new. Something that COULD be good, and is most certainly different.

Today I applied for a different position at work. One I have had interest in for a while actually, but the opportunity just keeps slipping past me. The hours are not the ones I have now, which I ADORE... but the pay is rumored better, and it would be a step into the more technical side of the business, at least a foot in the door that direction.

But for some reason I still hesitated in applying... I know that a large part of it is that I actually have a pretty good gig right now, and hours that I LOVE! I only wish I could watch the race on Sunday's lol.... But for the long term I feel like I need to keep moving and be experienced throughout the business for survival...

I spend a great deal of my life in my "comfort zone." It is the reason that after almost 4 years of living here in New England, I still haven't ventured out to a night club, not been to one gay bar, and really haven't made any friends outside of work save the wonderful family I knew before moving up here, the super sweet lady that happens to also be my talented tattoo artist of choice!

I HAVE made some wonderful friends at work, some of whom I even get to talk to and visit with outside of work. It is a challenge though sometimes learning the difference between real friends made at work and "work friends". One you can fully trust, the other... trust with limitations... Cautious remember?

The therapist I saw, once, also seemed to feel that a big part of my weight issues come from self imposed isolation... that I don't go out because of my insecurities and weight, and that I eat out of both guilt and frustration from it and subconsciously to maintain it... how sick is that?! Yeah I know, maybe I should try a second visit lol...

She is right though - that my weight does "weigh in" on what I do, not in the physical but the emotional. Even getting together with good friends is sometimes a challenge for me, usually in fact, because I am just not comfortable in my own skin and don't like venturing out like that.

And to add to it - this week I am meeting a friend from online, who is in town for business, for the first time. I am really looking forward to it, but at the same time I am scared to death - not really like a safety issue, because thats not it at all... just my insecurities and awkward first meeting shyness...

Comfort Zones, I am finding, can be far far more dangerous to a well balanced and lived life than taking risks and shaking things up a little bit from time to time...

I am, however, hoping that with the new rash of changes that I am trying to make, again, I can try to break out of that comfort zone from time to time, in small ways but in ways that can lead me to bigger and better things in life!

So here's to taking chances, cautiously...

DB