The rhythm of the universe stops for nothing and no one. No matter what we do it just keeps pounding out the sounds of our life, marking the time we have spent with the ever randomly placed crescendo.

We can either dance to the beat, find the counter balance and tip-toe the knife's edge, or we can grab the soaring chorus and ride it to the stars.

But those who have the most success are masters of fluid movement between them all.

For me that looks to be a lifelong goal to strive for...one that may never come to mastery, but even in my dark moments I strive to reach for the reasons to be, the reasons to continue, to find my song and make it my opus.

It's in the moments of introspection that we see the beat for what it is, the ebb and flow of energy in our lives. And in those moments of quiet revelry we see the path we must take.  And sometimes the paths we ought not take...

My greatest challenge is getting caught up in the moves and forgetting to look for the path that I must follow, the one that follows the flow of the energy of life, and steers from the negative energy that leads to destruction.

All too often I seem to let myself be lead astray by my own internal wanderings more often than I care to accept. But I must find my peace and moment, otherwise my vision will not clear to the tasks at hand.

Each day is one of those days where we must find our center and determine the path we will walk each day. In that, I have got to work to make the time each morning to set aside even just a moment to allow myself to burn away the fog of another day, and not just leap in with both feet in the social web with eyes towards running out the door just in time to make it to work.

If I can truly make this change I feel like I will be better off than I am even now. I might even be able to walk a bit more at a time if I can keep my focus on that which matters. Otherwise as it looks right now, I'll not be making that trip to DollyWood that I wanted to make when I am in TN.

What would be the point if I couldn't even make it 50 feet past the gates without needing to sit and rest. I fear I am coming close to being the person that is at a point where they have to have an electric cart to get around for moderate to longer distances... I really don't want to be. It's embarrassing as hell.

But I may just have to try and deal with it at least some, and force myself to do my own grocery shopping in person at the new Wal-Mart during the overnights, to save enough money on items so that I can afford to buy the things I need more of... such as healthy foods instead of what I can just make it by with affording.

Hopefully it would be just a temporary need to allow me to work my way back to the point I could do it on my own, and continue from there. I miss that independence so much.

DB