Some days I swear it feels like the world is out to get you. Like you've become a walking target.
Sometimes you have. If for no other reason than someone else has become bored and decided they don't like you this week.
After a while it can really wear you down. You can even miss the little things and the big things that the people that REALLY DO matter in your life are doing for you each day. Lately I have been really frustrated, stressed out, and generally on a bitchy edge. And even though I have expressed my appreciation to the people who have reached out and been so good to me, I'm not sure I ever really let the positive energy of those acts into my heart. So locked down have I been, that all I could think about was defense and the next counter move.
Shame on me.
The universe puts out these moments and these people to fill up our lives with the positive, to sustain us not just make us comfortable and happy. Without these kind souls and positive energy fountains in our lives we become bitter hate filled people, whose only pleasure is to bitch about others or to try to drag them down with us.
To merely acknowledge but not absorb the energy put out there in favor of keeping and compounding the negative we are insulting not just Ma' Universe but ourselves. And the fountains who are pouring that sustaining light into our lives only to have it washing by the wayside so quickly.
So here now, again, I must pick my heart up-dust it off-pry open the lid-and let the light in...
The dear wonderful friends and their families that have helped me so recently, to the friends abroad who help support and share their kindness with me every day in little and great ways, I must say thank you and I do truly appreciate the world you are helping to build stronger and better just by being you.
It is time that I open that release and let out the negative to disperse harmlessly, before it turns completely internal and harms not just others but myself. And most of all I have got to let the good in, truly in.
I've got to recharge my soul and find my peace again. It's amazing how easily and quickly that can slide out of place.
Just before sleep each day I must renew my efforts to draw in from the world around me the good and expel the bad, let in that which sustains and shed that which destroys.
It's nearly my vacation, I've got but a couple more shifts at work and then I'm free for two whole weeks. To just be me and to find my peace all over again.
Just in time.