I've not spoken a great deal on this here or anywhere really.

One of my kitties, Jacen, is in need of more medical care than I can afford to give him anymore. 1 and possibly 2 surgeries each totaling near 2,000.00 each. Plus whatever it is that has caused his dramatic weight loss.

I have put it off far longer than I ever should have, and have even been contemplating trying to find his sister, Jaina, a home where she can be the only child. But one step at a time here.

He and his sister were my first pets on my own, my first companions in a new city and home. I had thought that they would be with me always and until they passed in old age.

But it's just not fair to him. So I've had to make the choice, he will be returning to the no kill shelter I got him from. There he will receive the medical attention he needs. And then be placed with a new home. I really rather wish that I could bring him back home with me after he was all taken care of, and I may still ask that. Maybe...

But in the event that I don't... I want everyone to say a prayer that this dear sweet animal finds himself a new home with a wonderfully loving family where he can nap away and play.

I am truly going to miss my dear friend, this is one of the hardest things I've had to do.

Dear Jacen,

I know you'll never read this, I know that you can't. But I will write it anyway.

You have brought light and joy into my life. With your loud purrs and loving affections you've made me feel not so alone on the days when all the world felt so far away.

I watched you grow from tiny to tubby, and back again. You've always been the quiet child, the one that just played and got along. Never interested in a fight or argument amongst the others.

I wish so dearly I could explain to you now why your world is about to be flipped inside out. Why your leaving your sister, that you might give her one more farewell bath. I wish that I could explain that I do it from love, so that you might be healthier and live long in peace.

What I wouldn't give to be able to provide you the care you require, to keep you in my home, our home, where you could live on in what you've known all your life.

Hugs and purrs my dear friend. I will miss you more than you can know.