Every time I think I am finally doing better, am beginning to cope with things, it just hits me all over again. I keep thinking that I should be stronger than this, that I should be able to handle this better, and be further along in the grieving process...

Maybe I'm just experiencing a back log of emotions that are flooding through with the recently broken dam. Or maybe this is normal? I really don't know.

I do know that at the most random of times, and the slightest of moments I keep finding a tear or two running down my face.

I just received a lovely condolences card from the veterinary office that took care of us, and reading it just sent me into tears all over again.

The outside is a beautiful landscape with flowers, hills, and a huge beautiful rainbow bridging the sky. Inside are the words titled,

The Rainbow Bridge:

When a beloved pet dies, it goest to the Rainbow Bridge. It makes friends with other animals and frolics over rolling hills and peaceful, lush meadows of green.

Our pets do not thirst or hunger. The old and sick are made young once more; the maimed and the ill become healed and strong. They are as healthy and playful as we remember thim in days gone by.

Though happy and content, they still miss someone very special, someone they had ot leave behind.

Together, the animals chase and play, but the day comes when a pet will suddenly stop and look into the distance...bright eyes intent, eager body quivering. Suddenly recognizing you, yur pet bounds quickly across the green fields and into your embrace. You celebrate in joyous reunion. You will never again separate. Happy tears and kisses are warm and plety; your hands caress the face you missed. You look once more into the loving eyes of your pet and know you never really parted. You realized that though out of sight, your love had been remembered.

And now you cross the Rainbow Bridge together...

Author Unknown

I can't seem to find my footing right now. Each time I think I have, the ground shifts beneath me all over again...