Anticipation is a funny thing. It doesn’t seem to care the event at hand, but instead just knows that it is time to bring the body and emotions to an excited state. Not always a happy excited but merely excited as in hyped up. Perhaps anxious is the best way to describe it.
I got the news today that I will be able to bring Jacen home to lay him to rest. His picture has been added, and a place made for him to spend his eternity in my care in my home.
I miss him so much. He and his passing have been at the fore of my thoughts for more than a week now. Though slowly I am returning to normal emotional states through the days, the pain is still there. Like a constant ache in my chest.
His sister, Jaina, is wandering around and crying less during the times I am home. Her quiet broken meow while going from room to room has been like a knife super heated so intensely that it burns cold… plunged to my heart a thousand tiny times.
How I wish I could offer an explanation.