I don't know if it's just my settling into the idea of the insecurities, or if it is just that things are still moving along and I've managed to block out the anxiety. But this past week went much better. Despite the major snow and a huge backache that took me out of the game for a day.

Just after my last post we got a snow storm that apparently even surprised the weatherman. It left nearly double what was supposed to fall and more than that in some areas. That being said I stayed in and warm and toasty during the whole thing except for the end when I needed to go a shoveling...

That was quiet the lovely experience in heavy breathing and walking like a new born giraffe.. through the deep snow only of course.. well till the end anyway.

At any rate, I thought I had taken it slow enough and careful enough and even took meds to thwart any oncoming back issues... yeah apparently I was wrong. I barely slept at all that night/day. All because no matter how I twisted and turned, my back let me know in no uncertain terms that I was a bastard for having done all that!

Soooo that lead to a lovely missed night at work.. We are NOT amused. Though the rest of the week went much better and the new tasks and such at work are .. interesting. I think that we are actually adjusting and doing something different speaks to some sort of calming in the storm surge after the announcements of last week. At least for now.

Though I dare say I am intrigued to see what else they are going to bring to our department to balance things out a bit. And I feel certain that they MUST bring some sort of balance back, otherwise the stability and confidence is not going to return.

I find I am more sedate in the state of things at this point, but there is still that air of great nervousness and uncertainty just waiting to swoop back in at any moment.

Sigh..

So on another note, last week at my weigh in I managed to have dropped 2.2 pounds, much to my great shock. I'm not sure I will have done so again this week, but I am certainly hopeful.  The new Weight Watchers Plan has left me actually having trouble most days eating enough to use up and maintain the desired amount of points consumption. I never truly thought I would see the day that I would have issues eating enough!!

That said I think I did a much better/worse? job of eating up my points this week. Mainly as I settled in for the latest round of snow/ice we got. So I am honestly not sure how this next weigh in will go.

Right now it all just seems too good and too easy to be true with what I am eating on the good days, even the bad days aren't nearly as bad as they once would have been. I am hopeful that this new plan will truly work, and that with its flexibilities and openness, I will be less likely to burn out as I will have many more options and still be able to enjoy many of the foods I love so much. And without guilt too!

But just now it does seem too good to be true. And that has me a bit apprehensive. How can this possibly work? Have I really always been just this slightly off from where and what I should be eating? I honestly am not sure I have full faith in the new system yet, but I will say that the old one worked and it was restrictive. The new one is restrictive but also in a manner that simply redirects what you eat and portion sizes, but more so the what. So you are not nearly in the real of hunger like you could be on the old plans...

Well it seems that the Sun is up, and things are thawing a bit.. I really should head down soon and throw down some salt to banish this latest bit of ice from around the truck before it starts cooling back down.

We are expecting yet another snow storm this week, though this one I will not be so lucky as to be home for but instead I must be at work. Sooo there will be no fancy parking to lessing the shoveling, and I will be out in it driving about.

On a completely related yet unrelated note.. I've been toying with the idea that in addition to the blog I may start keeping a more personal hand written journal. Some place for the musings that are not really ready for prime time. I'm not sure if it's a good idea or even a full idea yet, but perhaps It is something I should consider a bit further...

Anyway, here goes nothing.

DB