OK, this is one that he has done that is not a comedy bit. (See Video At The End by Tim Minchin)
Many, if not all, of you know that this particular song is very dear to me. I am an atheist, yet I can appreciate the story being told. I've never been in love, but I can feel the pull of love in this song.
Every time, and I do mean every time, I hear this song... I break down into tears.
For many years I assumed it was the pain of having tried so hard to believe in a God and a religion that espoused love and acceptance to all but me and the gay community. That I wasn't good enough to be included in that love, and never would be.
Since then, it has come to mean more, it has come to be a reminder of that pain, that emotional torment of wanting so desperately to believe and belong and realizing that neither were true for me. And that I had to walk away from the old stories and myths and alleged gods to find my own way of love and acceptance and logical explanations of the world. Something that took me many years to come to and make my peace with, yet the painful memories are still there.
And yet in another way the song speaks to the power of love, love and desire. And the heartache that goes with finding it and not, with living it and losing it, and with finding a love that binds so tightly amongst two people. Something I've never experienced and have so long ago given up on finding. I don't know if it's in my future, maybe but I don't know.
I like to think there is still that tiniest sliver of a chance out there, that someone might have that mythical key to the ironclad welded shut vault I've locked those dreams in.
So in the song I imagine the joy, and mourn the loss of hope for that joy. And yet this is one of my absolute favorite songs. Despite the pain, despite the tears and memories and issues it touches for me. It does just that, it touches me, in a way that so few things do... It's like getting a glimpse of the well of pain that I've worked so carefully to keep hidden away and tried to ignore, it's like getting to reach down and take a bucket of that pain and pour it away in an emotional eruption.
It hurts, but yet it feels right and necessary.
I don't know that this makes full sense or not, but it is what it is... And I'm letting a little bit of the pain escape this morning.
Please excuse the mess....