I spent about an hour standing on the shore line right at the edge of the water today.

Some goals and decisions made. Perspective on those goals and acceptance of the challenges of meeting those goals, and of the unexpected, acknowledged.

Timeliness decided. 3.5 years to goal.

Tasks to be done.

I feel more centered with a long term goal in focus instead of just killing time not really doing anything.

It's time to get off my ass and work at this with full force.

There will be setbacks. There will be challenges too great to meet the first second or third time around but they must be met no matter how many attempts it takes.

I know where I need to be. And I have the beginnings of a plan on how to get there. It's a start. And I'm good with that.

I know that I need to be in a town and a community where I truly feel comfortable being me. Where I don't have the hesitation to just do "me". Knowing the eccentricities are not frowned upon, but accepted as just being who you are and respected. Knowing that I can just move about as I want to move without constant self censorship. 

It's going to take support and understanding and love of my family and friends to get me there. To keep me honest and to help me stay the course.

I've got to make some hard short term choices and decisions. There are major changes coming in that aspect. I've got to get through my surgery and on the other side of that. And I've got to restabilize my financial situation to become both fully self sufficient again and to truly begin building my core to both sustain me and help me make the changes to begin with. 

I'm up for the challenge and I hope they are too.

No more excuses. No more time wasted.

Now is the time of change and challenge in my life. 10 years later and it's time to take the next big leap of faith.

#DoOrDoNotThereIsNoTry #ProvincetownOrBust